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The line graph demonstrates the population size, rate of birth and death of England and Wales between 1700 to 2000.

The line graph demonstrates the population size, rate of birth and death of England and Wales between 1700 to 2000. 6VEW
The line graph demonstrates the population size, rate of birth and death of England and Wales between 1700 to 2000. Overall, although the population size showed an upward trend at the given time, the death rate showed downward trend. While the birth rate demonstrated a downward trend like death rate, there was fluctuation between 1900 and 2000. Additionally, the birth rate increased sharply after 1950. It is obviously seen that the rate of birth and the rate of death had similar changings between 1700 to 1950, however the birth rate rose dramatically until 2000. At the beginning of time the rate death was approximately 25 per 1000 people, it reached 20 at the end of given period. On the other hand, the population size climbed significantly during the time. Although, the population size remained stable between 1750 to 1800 with 10 million people. The population size started with almost 20 million in 1700 and reached 50 million people in 2000.
The line graph demonstrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
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size
,
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rate
of
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birth
and death of England and Wales
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1700 and 2000".
between 1700 to 2000
.

Overall
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time, the death
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rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
downward trend. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
demonstrated a downward trend like death
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rate
, there was fluctuation between 1900 and 2000.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
increased
sharply
after 1950.

It is
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
and the
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rate
of death had similar
Possible spelling mistake found.
changings
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1700 and 1950".
between 1700 to 1950
,
however
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
rose
dramatically
until 2000. At the beginning of time the
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rate
death was approximately 25 per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it reached 20 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

On the other hand
, the
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population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
climbed
significantly
during the time.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
remained stable
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1750 and 1800".
between 1750 to 1800
with 10 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with almost 20 million in 1700 and reached 50 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2000.
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IELTS academic The line graph demonstrates the population size, rate of birth and death of England and Wales between 1700 to 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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