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The information regarding eastern Australia in two years 2007 and 2010 where the proportion of electricity used by distinct eight sectors has depicted in the pie chart. At a first glance, in 2007 28% of electricity was consumed by the residential area, however, there was no change in 2010 in the consumption of electricity by the residential area. After that, The commercial area also shared the same proportion in both years which was 23%. The residential and commercial sectors were the major chunk of the pie charts in both years. Observing further, in 2007 and 2010 agriculture and transport sectors were consumes the electricity that was accounted 1% in both sectors and both years and they had used a very small proportion of electricity as compared to other sectors. Besides, 13% of electricity consumed by manufacture and aluminium sectors in 2007 while, in 2010 both areas were dropped to 9% and 11% respectively. Overall, residential and commercial areas were noticed that the higher

The information regarding eastern Australia in two years 2007 and 2010 where the proportion of electricity used by distinct eight sectors has depicted in the pie chart. At a first glance, in 2007 28% of electricity was consumed by the residential area, however, there was no change in 2010 in the consumption of electricity by the residential area. After that, The commercial area also shared the same proportion in both years which was 23%. The residential and commercial sectors were the major chunk of the pie charts in both years. Observing further, in 2007 and 2010 agriculture and transport sectors were consumes the electricity that was accounted 1% in both sectors and both years and they had used a very small proportion of electricity as compared to other sectors. Besides, 13% of electricity consumed by manufacture and aluminium sectors in 2007 while, in 2010 both areas were dropped to 9% and 11% respectively. Overall, residential and commercial areas were noticed that the higher Nq0q
The information regarding eastern Australia in two years 2007 and 2010 where the proportion of electricity used by distinct eight sectors has depicted in the pie chart. At a first glance, in 2007 28% of electricity was consumed by the residential area, however, there was no change in 2010 in the consumption of electricity by the residential area. After that, The commercial area also shared the same proportion in both years which was 23%. The residential and commercial sectors were the major chunk of the pie charts in both years. Observing further, in 2007 and 2010 agriculture and transport sectors were consumes the electricity that was accounted 1% in both sectors and both years and they had used a very small proportion of electricity as compared to other sectors. Besides, 13% of electricity consumed by manufacture and aluminium sectors in 2007 while, in 2010 both areas were dropped to 9% and 11% respectively. Overall, residential and commercial areas were noticed that the higher percentage of the pie charts as compared to the lowest that were transport and agriculture sectors in Australia.
The information regarding eastern Australia in two years 2007 and 2010 where the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by distinct eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
has depicted in the pie chart.

At a
first
glance, in 2007 28% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
was consumed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
however
, there was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in 2010 in the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. After that, The commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
also
shared the same proportion in both years which was 23%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
and commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
were the major chunk of the pie charts in both years.

Observing
further
, in 2007 and 2010 agriculture and transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
were consumes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
that
was accounted
1% in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
and both
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
years and
they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
as compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
.
Besides
, 13% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
consumed by manufacture and
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in 2007 while, in 2010 both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
were dropped
to 9% and 11%
respectively
.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
and commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
were noticed
that the higher percentage of the pie charts as compared to the lowest that were transport and agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in Australia.
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IELTS academic The information regarding eastern Australia in two years 2007 and 2010 where the proportion of electricity used by distinct eight sectors has depicted in the pie chart. At a first glance, in 2007 28% of electricity was consumed by the residential area, however, there was no change in 2010 in the consumption of electricity by the residential area. After that, The commercial area also shared the same proportion in both years which was 23%. The residential and commercial sectors were the major chunk of the pie charts in both years. Observing further, in 2007 and 2010 agriculture and transport sectors were consumes the electricity that was accounted 1% in both sectors and both years and they had used a very small proportion of electricity as compared to other sectors. Besides, 13% of electricity consumed by manufacture and aluminium sectors in 2007 while, in 2010 both areas were dropped to 9% and 11% respectively. Overall, residential and commercial areas were noticed that the higher

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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