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The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013 28Lx
The bar graph illustrates the data from the year 2003, 2006 and 2013 about percentage of people in the USA often eat fast food in restaurants. In general, people eat fast food one a week in relatively popular in 2003 and 2006, while in 2013 the trend of eating one or twice a month is high. The people who ate every and and who never ate at restaurants are very less which is less than 5%. In detail, people who eat fast food once a week is 31 percent in 2003 which significantly surged to 33 percent in 2006, however, in 2013 it plummet to 27 percent. 30 percent people ate once or twice a month in 2003 which seen remarkable nosedive to 25% in 2006, but it has increased dramatically in 2013. People who ate several time a week is high in the year 2006 compare with 2003 and 2013 which is 17% and 16 % respectively. In 2003, people who ate fast food few times a year is 13% which raised to 15 percent in 2006 and remain constant in 2013. The people who eat fast food daily in restaurants and one who never ate are below 5% in all three years.
The bar graph illustrates the data from the
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year
2003, 2006 and 2013 about percentage of
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people
in the USA
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often
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eat
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fast
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food
in restaurants.
In general
,
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people
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eat
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fast
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food
one a week in
relatively
popular in 2003 and 2006, while in 2013 the trend of eating one or twice a month is high. The
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people
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who
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ate
every
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
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who
never
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ate
at restaurants are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less which is less than 5%.

In detail,
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people
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who
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eat
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fast
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food
once a week is 31
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percent
in 2003 which
significantly
surged to 33
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percent
in 2006,
however
, in 2013 it
Did you mean "plummets"?
plummet
to 27
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percent
. 30
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percent
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people
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ate
once or twice a month in 2003 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
remarkable nosedive to 25% in 2006,
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but
it has increased
dramatically
in 2013.
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People
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who
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ate
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "several times".
several time
a week is high in the
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year
2006 compare with 2003 and 2013 which is 17% and 16 %
respectively
. In 2003,
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people
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who
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ate
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fast
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food
few times a
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year
is 13% which raised to 15
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percent
in 2006 and remain constant in 2013. The
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
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food
daily in restaurants and one
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who
never
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ate
are below 5% in all three years.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
204 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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