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The information about the USA citizens consuming fast foods in restaurants frequently over the period of 2003 to 2013 is depicted by the rendered vertical bar graph.

The information about the USA citizens consuming fast foods in restaurants frequently over the period of 2003 to 2013 is depicted by the rendered vertical bar graph. PWeqK
The information about the USA citizens consuming fast foods in restaurants frequently over the period of 2003 to 2013 is depicted by the rendered vertical bar graph. The data has been calibrated in percentage. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the highest rates of people consuming fast food is observed in case of once a week and once or twice a month while the citizens in everyday and never categories shows the lowest figures in consumption of junk food in restaurants. In 2003, the rate of people eating fast food every day and never was lowest and it accounted for almost 4% and 5% respectively. However, the population consuming junk food in case of several time a week and a few times a year category was quite similar, and it comprised to 17% and 13% respectively. The fast-food consumption was higher in case of once a week and once or twice a month category. In 2003 it reached at a peak of 32% in case of once-a-week category people. In 2006, there was a similar trend like 2003 the people consuming fast food in every day and never were showing lowest rates and it accounted for almost 3% and 4% respectively whereas the once a week and once a twice a month category shows highest rate of consumption of fast food and it comprised to 34% and 25% respectively. In case of once-a-week category of people it reached the highest peak of 32%. In 2013, the highest rate of consumption of fast food in restaurants was observed in case of once or twice a month category whereas in all other categories it was low.
The information about the USA citizens consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in restaurants
frequently
over the period of 2003 to 2013
is depicted
by the rendered vertical bar graph. The data has
been calibrated
in percentage.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is observed
in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
or twice a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
while the citizens in
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
categories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the lowest figures in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in restaurants.

In 2003, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
every day and never was lowest and it accounted for almost 4% and 5%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
.
However
, the population consuming junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in case of
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "several times".
several time
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and a few times a year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
was quite similar, and it comprised to 17% and 13%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
was higher in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
or twice a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2003, it".
2003 it
reached at a peak of 32% in case of once-a-week
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In 2006, there was a similar trend like 2003 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in every day and never were showing
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
and it accounted for almost 3% and 4%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
Did you mean "or"?
a
twice a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and it comprised to 34% and 25%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
case of once-a-week
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it reached the highest peak of 32%.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
2013, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in restaurants
was observed
in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
or twice a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
whereas in all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
categories
it was low.
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IELTS academic The information about the USA citizens consuming fast foods in restaurants frequently over the period of 2003 to 2013 is depicted by the rendered vertical bar graph.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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