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the holiday accommodation chosen by the British in 2010

the holiday accommodation chosen by the British in 2010 n1JOn
The bar chart below illustrates what holiday accommodation the British chose in 2010. In general, among these four destinations, hotels always were the most ideal choices, whereas, the opposite was evidently true for caravans, except for Scotland and Northern Ireland. As we can see, people traveling these regions named: England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland had tendencies to relax in hotels, which were at the top of this chart at 55, 52, 49, 45 percent respectively. Being the second favorite accommodation, Self-catering was chosen by 28 to 30 percent of travelers. However, the figure of that in Northern Ireland was intriguingly low, which was at merely above one-tenths people. In terms of caravan, there were a small number of imbalances in this chart. In spite of being interestingly high in Northern Ireland with approximately three-tenths, caravans in the rest nations were comparatively low, which ranged from 5 to 12 percent. Moreover, the proportions of camping usually were at the bottom with just a maximum of nearly 15 percent.
The bar chart below illustrates what holiday accommodation the British chose in 2010.

In general
, among these four destinations, hotels always were the most ideal choices, whereas, the opposite was
evidently
true for caravans,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Scotland and Northern Ireland.

As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
traveling these regions named: England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland had tendencies to relax in hotels, which were at the top of this chart at 55, 52, 49, 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
. Being the second favorite accommodation, Self-catering
was chosen
by 28 to 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of travelers.
However
, the figure of that in Northern Ireland was
intriguingly
low, which was at
merely
above one-tenths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In terms of caravan, there were a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of imbalances in this chart.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
being
interestingly
high in Northern Ireland with approximately three-tenths, caravans in the rest nations were
comparatively
low, which ranged from 5 to 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Moreover
, the proportions of camping
usually
were at the bottom with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a maximum of
nearly
15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.

IELTS academic the holiday accommodation chosen by the British in 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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