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The graphs compare the number of deaths caused by six diseases in Someland in 1990 with the amount of research funding allocated to each of those diseases.

The graphs compare the number of deaths caused by six diseases in Someland in 1990 with the amount of research funding allocated to each of those diseases. PVkAE
The graphs compare the number of deaths caused by six diseases in Someland in 1990 with the amount of research funding allocated to each of those diseases. The figures clearly indicate that there were spent about 200 million funds for research of AIDS, while the rate of the death from this disease was approximately 300000 people. It is clearly seen from the second graph that in 1990 the most of people died from TB (1800000), however the amount spent on TB research was the lowest (25 millions). For tropical diseases and Leprosy allocated 75 million for each disease and the level of death was 300000 of tropical diseases. An amount of death by leprosy has the lowest rate, which are about 100000 dead persons. There are 500000 dead people from Diarrhea and about 300000 dead people from malaria. The medical research spent about 50-60 million for these disease respectively. To sum up, funding allocation for disease research in Someland is not wholly determined by the number of deaths for which each disease is responsible in a given year.
The graphs compare the number of deaths caused by six
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diseases
in
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Someland
in 1990 with the amount of
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research
funding allocated to each of those diseases.

The figures
clearly
indicate that there
were spent
about 200
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million
funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
of AIDS, while the rate of the death from this
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disease
was approximately 300000
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people
. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the second graph that in 1990 the most of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
from TB (1800000),
however
the amount spent on TB
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research
was the lowest (25
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millions)
. For tropical
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diseases
and Leprosy allocated 75
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million
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and the level of death was 300000 of tropical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. An amount of death by leprosy has the lowest rate, which are about 100000 dead persons. There are 500000 dead
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people
from Diarrhea and about 300000 dead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from malaria. The medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
spent about 50-60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
for these
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disease
respectively
.

To sum up, funding allocation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
is not wholly determined by the number of deaths for which each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is responsible in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
year.
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IELTS academic The graphs compare the number of deaths caused by six diseases in Someland in 1990 with the amount of research funding allocated to each of those diseases.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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