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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. m7lO
The poly-line graph depicts the number of admission in Australian universities by foreign pupils and local pupils between 2001 and 2010. From an overall perspective, it can be seen that the total enrollment of foreign students continuosly rose over the period. At the first year of period, there was the least gap of commencing students and total students about 10, 000 students, as time passed, this student gap was constantly increased from 10, 000 to 40, 000. Moreover, total admission of local students was significantly upsurged within a decade from 4 lac to plateau of 6 lac for last 4 years. However, the number of commencing local students was dropped noticably from the year 2002, with a small upward trend in 2007 and 2008. Overall, it can be said that their was the huge difference of local and foreign students admissions in the university in the 10 years.
The
poly
-line graph depicts the number of admission in Australian universities by foreign pupils and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
pupils between 2001 and 2010.

From an
overall
perspective, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the total enrollment of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
continuosly
rose over the period. At the
first
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year
of period, there was the least gap of commencing
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students
and total
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students
about 10, 000
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students
, as time passed, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
gap was
constantly
increased from 10, 000 to 40, 000.

Moreover
, total admission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was
significantly
upsurged within a decade from 4 lac to plateau of 6 lac for last 4 years.
However
, the number of commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was dropped
Possible spelling mistake found.
noticably
from the
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year
2002, with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
upward trend in 2007 and 2008.

Overall
, it can
be said
that
Did you mean "there"?
their
was the huge difference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
admissions in the university in the 10 years.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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