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University Graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007

University Graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007 B2Va
The line graph displays the amount of female and male graduates in the span of 16 years in Canada. The magenta coloured line represents the number of female graduates and it starts at around 100, 000 individuals in the year of 1992. The line then gradually increases until 1994 and forms a peak in 1995, before eventually decreasing back to the same number as the starting point in 1997. However, the line stopped going down and instead moves back up in 1998 until 2003. In the year of 2004 to 2005, the line seems to be slowing down its climb for a year. However, after its rest, the number of graduates rises up again in the two last years where it finally reaches its maximum number, which is almost 150, 000 female graduates in 2007. On the other hand, the blue line symbolizes the number of male graduates. The starting point in 1992 was 70, 000 students and the blue line followed the magenta's trend in increasing until 1995. Then, the number of male graduates decreased along with the female graduates until 1998. The first difference is during 1999, the blue line successfully rised for a year and made another peak before making decreasing again in 2001. Nevertheless, the blue line followed the trend of rising back up along with the magenta line after 2001. The "male" line succeeded in increasing its growth until 2006 with only one bump, making 2007 with the most amount of males, which is more or less 95, 000. By this, we can infer that both genders followed a trend, which is growing from 1992-1995, decreasing its number from 1995-1998, and slowly repairing its number of people from 1998 until 2007, the best year for both genders.
The
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line
graph displays the amount of
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female
and male
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graduates
in the span of 16 years in Canada.

The magenta
Possible spelling mistake. 'coloured' is British English.
coloured
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line
represents the
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number
of
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female
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graduates
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
at around 100, 000 individuals in the
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year
of 1992.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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line
then
gradually
increases until 1994 and forms a peak in 1995,
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before
eventually
decreasing back to the same
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number
as the starting point in 1997.
However
, the
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line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
going down and
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
back up in 1998 until 2003. In the
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year
of 2004 to 2005, the
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line
seems to be slowing down its climb for a
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year
.
However
, after its rest, the
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number
of
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graduates
rises up again in the two last
It is better to use 'years' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "years when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
years where
it
finally
reaches its maximum
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number
, which is almost 150, 000
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female
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graduates
in 2007.

On the other hand
, the
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blue
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line
symbolizes the
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number
of male
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graduates
. The starting point in 1992 was 70, 000 students and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blue
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line
followed the magenta's trend in increasing until 1995. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male
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graduates
decreased along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
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graduates
until 1998. The
first
difference is during 1999, the
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blue
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line
successfully
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rised
for a
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year
and made another peak
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before
making decreasing again in 2001.
Nevertheless
, the
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blue
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line
followed the trend of rising back up along with the magenta
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line
after 2001. The
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
male
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
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line
succeeded in increasing its growth until 2006 with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one bump, making 2007 with the most amount of
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males
, which is more or less 95, 000.

By this, we can infer that both genders followed a trend, which is growing from 1992-1995, decreasing its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
from 1995-1998, and
slowly
repairing its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from 1998 until 2007, the best
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year
for both genders.
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IELTS academic University Graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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