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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. g2Qg
The graph represents the enrollments of overseas students and the local students in Australian universities over a ten year period from 2001 to 2010. The overseas students are enrolled more than the locan students when we compare. The Overseas students graph clearly shows that the total number of students are increasing year by year from 2001 to 2010, ranges from 20, 000 to 81, 000 approximately. And the commencing students are ranges from 10, 000 to 40, 500 approximately. Where as the Local students, the total number of students enrolled in 2001 are 40, 000 and gradually increases to more than 60, 000 students from 2007 to 2010. And the commencing students graph is not consistent. Finally, when both the Overseas students and Local students are compared, the more number of overseas students are enrolled comared to local students in Australian universities. In 2001, the Local students are enrolled more than Overseas students but in 2010 the Overseas students enrolled more than Local students.
The graph represents the enrollments of
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overseas
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students
and the
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local
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students
in Australian universities over a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "ten-year"
ten year
period from 2001 to 2010. The
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overseas
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students
are enrolled
more than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
locan
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students
when we compare.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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Overseas
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students
graph
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the total number of
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students
are increasing year by year from 2001 to 2010, ranges from 20, 000 to 81, 000 approximately. And the commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are ranges from 10, 000 to 40, 500 approximately.

Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
the
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Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, the total number of
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students
enrolled in 2001 are 40, 000 and
gradually
increases to more than 60, 000
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students
from 2007 to 2010. And the commencing
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students
graph is not consistent.

Finally
, when both the
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Overseas
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students
and
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Local
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students
are compared
, the more number of
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overseas
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students
are enrolled
Possible spelling mistake found.
comared
to
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local
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students
in Australian universities. In 2001, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are enrolled
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2010 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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