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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. blGY
The line graphs illustrate the numbers of local and international students who attended universities in Australia between 2001 and 2010. Overall, during a decade, the numbers of abroad university students in commencing and total both increase considerably. The enrolments of Australian learners also rose significantly in total, while fluctuated markedly in commencing. There was a dramatic growth in numbers of enrolments of oversea students in total. According to the graph, the rate of students from other countries starting their degrees in Australia rose from 20, 000 to above 80, 000 in number. Similarly, the 400000 inland enrolments were made in 2001 and jumped to 600000 in 2007, then they remained stable for 3 years. To be specific in commencing, the numbers of enrollment from around the grew, while the local ones remained relatively stable. Internationally, the numbers of applications of abroad students were accepted around 10000 in 2001 and rose markedly to 40000 in 2009, then they tempered off in 2010. In the same way, around 15000 Australians enrolled in commencing during 2001. However, there was a plateau started in 2002 to 2010.
The line graphs illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of local and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who attended universities in Australia between 2001 and 2010.
Overall
, during a decade, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of abroad university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in commencing and total both increase
considerably
. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of Australian learners
also
rose
significantly
in total, while fluctuated
markedly
in commencing.

There was a dramatic growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in total. According to the graph, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from other countries starting their degrees in Australia rose from 20, 000 to above 80, 000 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
.
Similarly
, the 400000 inland
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
were made
in 2001 and jumped to 600000 in 2007, then they remained stable for 3 years.

To be specific in commencing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of enrollment from around the grew, while the local ones remained
relatively
stable.
Internationally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of applications of abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
around 10000 in 2001 and rose
markedly
to 40000 in 2009, then they tempered off in 2010.
In the same way
, around 15000 Australians enrolled in commencing during 2001.
However
, there was a plateau
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 2002 to 2010.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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