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The diagram below shows the process of distilling salty water into fresh water. using the information in the diagram and the list of material, describe the process and what is involved

The diagram below shows the process of distilling salty water into fresh water. using the information in the diagram and the list of material, describe the process and what is involved yKjg
The pictogram illustrate the procedure of making fresh water from salty water by purifying. To being with purification procedure the material required are a heat source, a pot with salty water, a metal funnel, a length of pipe, a piece of cloth. First of all take a pot with salty water and place it on the gas stove. Then connect the metal funnel with top of pot after that the long pipe insert in the funnel For passing steam of salty water. A cloth is wrapped around the pipe. Water droplets are formed and they drip into the bucket and hence, fresh water is obtained. Overall, it can be seen that salt water purified into fresh water with 8 materials and this process is quite easy to perform.
The pictogram
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the procedure of making fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
by purifying. To being with purification procedure the material required are a heat source, a pot with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, a metal funnel, a length of pipe, a piece of cloth.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
take a pot with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and place it on the gas stove. Then connect the metal funnel with top of pot after that the long pipe insert in the funnel For passing steam of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. A cloth
is wrapped
around the pipe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
droplets are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
formed and
they drip into the bucket and
hence
, fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is obtained
.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
purified into fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
with 8 materials and this process is quite easy to perform.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process of distilling salty water into fresh water. using the information in the diagram and the list of material, describe the process and what is involved

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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