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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart depicts data related to global sales of games software, CD and DVD or video, over a period of 3 years. Overall, a large proportion of CD'S were sold from beginning till the end of the year. while least number of customers buyed games software. From 2000 -2001, a enormous amount of CD'S were sold between the year 2000-2001, and the sales were almost similar that was 35-32 billion dollars. There was a slightly increase in the sales of games software around 10-12 billion dollars. On further analysis, from 2002-2003 there was a little rose in the sales of DVD approximately from 25-30 billion dollars. There was a slightly decrease in the sales of CD from 32-30 billion dollars. There was a no change in the sold of games software 10 billion dollars.
The bar chart depicts data related to global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
, CD and DVD or video, over a period of 3 years.
Overall
, a large proportion of
Consider using the plural form here.
CD'S
were sold
from beginning till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
while
least number of customers
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “bought”, the past tense form of the verb ‘buy’?
buyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
. From 2000 -2001,
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
enormous amount of
Consider using the plural form here.
CD'S
were sold
between the year 2000-2001, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
were almost similar that was 35-32
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. There was a
You used an adverb (‘slightly’) instead of an adjective, or a noun (‘increase’) instead of another adjective.
slightly increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
around 10-12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. On
further
analysis, from 2002-2003 there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
rose in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of DVD approximately from 25-30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. There was a
You used an adverb (‘slightly’) instead of an adjective, or a noun (‘decrease’) instead of another adjective.
slightly decrease
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of CD from 32-30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. There was a no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the sold of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.