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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. 6RJB
The graph represents the data of the last ten years, which describes the enrolments of overseas students and local students pictorially in a chart. There are two graphs, one represents the enrolement of overseas students while the other represents the enrolment of local students. The noticeable difference can easily be analyzed by comparing these two types of students. In 2001, 20000 international students were enrolled out of which 10000 commenced the classes in Australian universities, which gradually increased to 80000 students by the end of 2010. Around 40000 students commenced the classes in Australian universities in 2010. Whereas, about 40000 local students were enrolled in 2010, which is two times more than the number of international students that were enrolled in 2010. But only about 20000 commenced the classes, which is still significantly higher than the number of international students. The local students gradually increased by 2007 and then remained almost equal in the next 3 years. The number commencing students fluctuated throught these years. But on the other hand, the number of oversease students continuously raised to 40000 in 10 years. Let me conclude the topic with just a few words, that the number of international students made a great difference as compared to the locals.
The graph represents the data of the last ten years, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of overseas
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students
and
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local
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students
pictorially
in a chart. There are two graphs, one represents the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enrolement
of overseas
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students
while the other represents the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
of
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local
students.

The noticeable difference can
easily
be analyzed
by comparing these two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In 2001, 20000
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were enrolled
out of which 10000 commenced the classes in Australian universities, which
gradually
increased to 80000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2010. Around 40000
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students
commenced the classes in Australian universities in 2010.

Whereas, about 40000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were enrolled
in 2010, which is two times more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that
were enrolled
in 2010.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 20000 commenced the classes, which is
still
significantly
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gradually
increased by 2007 and then remained almost equal in the
next
3 years. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
fluctuated
Possible spelling mistake found.
throught
these years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
oversease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
continuously
raised to 40000 in 10 years.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me conclude the topic with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few words, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
made a great difference as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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