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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. 58BB
The line-graph illustrates the admission of foreign and domestic students in Australian universities in a period of ten years. In terms of overseas students, total had almost double number (exactly 20, 000) than commencing(around 10000), former starting at 10000 and letter at 20000. The figure of total soared and reached to peak (around 80000 students) in 2010. Whereas, commencing number rose steadily and hit a peak of 40000 in 2010. On the other hand, in regards to local students, number of commencing was slightly below 20, 0000 in 2001. This figure witnessed fluctuations and achieved exactly 20, 0000 in 2010. Total had double numbers than that of the commencing in the starting period. Number skyrocketed and Total got sixfold numbers than commencing. overall, foreign and local students witnessed an upward trend over the 10 years in regards to total. Meantime, commencing overseas students increased gradually in the given period, total domestic students remained more or less same. Another marking factor, there is big difference between commencing and total number of local students than overseas students.
The line-graph illustrates the admission of foreign and domestic
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students
in Australian universities in a period of ten years.

In terms of overseas
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students
,
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total
had almost double
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number
(exactly 20, 000) than commencing(around 10000), former starting at 10000 and letter at 20000. The figure of
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total
soared and reached to peak (around 80000
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students)
in 2010. Whereas,
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commencing
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number
rose
steadily
and hit a peak of 40000 in 2010.

On the other hand
,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
local
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students
,
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number
of
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commencing
was
slightly
below 20, 0000 in 2001. This figure witnessed fluctuations and achieved exactly 20, 0000 in 2010.
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Total
had double
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numbers
than that of the
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commencing
in the starting period.
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Number
skyrocketed and
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Total
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
sixfold
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numbers
than commencing.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, foreign and local
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students
witnessed an upward trend over the 10 years
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
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total
. Meantime,
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commencing
overseas
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students
increased
gradually
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period,
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total
domestic
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students
remained more or less same. Another marking factor, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference between
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commencing
and
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of local
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students
than overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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