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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. 56W7e
The graph illustrates the distinction between overseas and local students enrolled in Australian universities from 2001 to 2010. According to the graph the number of local students noticeably higher than foreign students, and the number of commencing students significantly lower in both graphs. According to the first graph, the number of overseas students considerably increased from the beginning of the period till the end started from 20 000 students and finished by more than 80 000 ultimately. In comparison with the total amount of students ' line, the number of commencing has more modest indicators, precisely speaking it increased gradually from about 10 000 students to 40 000 at the beginning of the year 2009 and remained steadily. As can be seen in the second graph the number of total local students raised from 40 000 to 60 000 until 2007, when it remained constant over the end of the period. In contrast, the number of local commencing students remained stable in the indicator of 20000 students with some fluctuations. To conclude, the number of enrolled overseas students increases more markedly and faster than the number of local students.
The
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graph
illustrates the distinction between overseas and
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local
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students
enrolled in Australian universities from 2001 to 2010. According to the
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graph
the
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number
of
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local
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students
noticeably
higher than foreign
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students
, and the
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number
of commencing
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students
significantly
lower in both graphs.

According to the
first
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graph
, the
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number
of overseas
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students
considerably
increased from the beginning of the period till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 20 000
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students
and finished by more than 80 000
ultimately
.
In comparison
with the total amount of
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students
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
line, the
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number
of commencing has more modest indicators,
precisely
speaking it increased
gradually
from about 10 000
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students
to 40 000 at the beginning of the year 2009 and remained
steadily
.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the second
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graph
the
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number
of total
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local
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students
raised from 40 000 to 60 000 until 2007, when it remained constant over the
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end
of the period.
In contrast
, the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
remained stable in the indicator of 20000
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students
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations.

To conclude
, the
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number
of enrolled overseas
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students
increases more
markedly
and faster than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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