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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. 2Vxx
The bar chart reviews the registration of international students and domestic students in Australian higher education organizations over the past decade. Overall, the overseas students' rate had an upward trend in total, therefore the number of students which enrolls to Australian Universities grew steadily, while the total of regional pupils increased static remained, also a total of juniors remained constant. Enrolment of International students went up from 20000 to approximately over 80000 scholars over the decade time. But the rise of first-year students has been more plateau in the first decade of 21 century. Meanwhile, the number of domestic students uplifted steadily. But the activity of junior pupil's been constant with some small number of ups and downs in 10 years.
The bar chart reviews the registration of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Australian higher education organizations over the past decade.

Overall
, the overseas students' rate had an upward trend in total,
therefore
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which enrolls to Australian Universities grew
steadily
, while the total of regional pupils increased static remained,
also
a total of juniors remained constant.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Enrolment' is British English.
Enrolment
of International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
went up from 20000 to approximately over 80000 scholars over the decade time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the rise of
first
-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has been more plateau in the
first
decade of
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
.

Meanwhile, the number of domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
uplifted
steadily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the activity of junior pupil's been constant with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of ups and downs in 10 years.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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