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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. 1qyL
The line graph illustrates the number of foreign and local students enrolled in the universities of Australia for ten years. Overall, total number of student for both overseas and local increased significantly from 2001 to 2010. In 2001, foreign students who will start to enter universities have an approximately 12000 students which rose gradually and peaked at 40000 students in year 2009 and 2010. Meanwhile, the total number of overseas students enrolled in 2001 is accounted for exactly 20000 and it increased dramatically for ten years which peaked at 80000 in 2010. Commencing local students was accounted for almost 200000 students in 2001 and there was a considerably fluctuation in the number of enrolees on the following years. While the total number of local students were about 400000 in 2001 and for the next seven years it markedly increased until it reached its peaked of 600000 in 2007 which remains steady until 2010.
The line graph illustrates the
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number
of foreign and
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local
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students
enrolled in the universities of Australia for ten years.

Overall
, total
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number
of
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student
for both overseas and
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local
increased
significantly
from 2001 to 2010.

In 2001, foreign
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students
who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to enter universities have an approximately 12000
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students
which rose
gradually
and peaked at 40000
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students
in
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year
2009 and 2010. Meanwhile, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled in 2001
is accounted
for exactly 20000 and it increased
dramatically
for ten years which peaked at 80000 in 2010.

Commencing
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local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was accounted
for almost 200000
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students
in 2001 and there was a
You used an adverb ('considerably') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('fluctuation') instead of another adjective.
considerably fluctuation
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
enrolees
on the following years. While the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were about 400000 in 2001 and for the
next
seven years it
markedly
increased until it reached its peaked of 600000 in 2007 which remains steady until 2010.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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