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the graphs below show tha types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

the graphs below show tha types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. gK2a
The bar charts illustrate the proportion of males and females who purchase various types of music such as Pop, Rock and Classical in the UK, according to age. Overall, classical music is far less popular in the UK than pop or rock music. Also, more males like music than females. While slightly more women than men like pop music, the rock market is dominated by males with 30% buying rock music, compared to 18% of women. Interest in pop music is steady from age 16 to 44 with 20% of the population continuing to buy pop CDs after the age of 45. Regarding rock music, on the other hand, the interest reaches its peak among the 25 to 34 years old, though it never sells as much as pop. The interest also drops off after the age of 35 with an even sharper fall from age 45 onwards, a pattern which is the opposite to the classical music graph. With respect to classical music, young people with an age of 16 to 24 are found to dislike the most, only about two percent purchase the item.
The bar charts illustrate the proportion of males and females who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
various types of
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music
such as Pop,
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Rock
and
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Classical
in the UK, according to age.

Overall
,
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classical
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music
is far less popular in the UK than pop or
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rock
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music
.
Also
, more males like
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music
than females.

While
slightly
more women than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
like pop
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music
, the
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rock
market
is dominated
by males with 30% buying
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rock
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music
, compared to 18% of women. Interest in pop
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music
is steady from
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age
16 to 44 with 20% of the population continuing to
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buy
pop CDs after the
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age
of 45.

Regarding
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rock
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music
,
on the other hand
, the interest reaches its peak among the 25 to 34 years
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old
, though it never sells as much as pop. The interest
also
drops off after the
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age
of 35 with an even sharper fall from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
45 onwards, a pattern which is the opposite to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
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music
graph. With respect to
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classical
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music
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with an
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age
of 16 to 24
are found
to dislike the most,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about two percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the item.
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IELTS academic the graphs below show tha types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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