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The graph shows the value of sales for four products during 2009

The graph shows the value of sales for four products during 2009 gdAL
The line graph illustrated the sales of price for four merchandise over the period 2009. In general, in January to December all figures increased, but only product B directed reduced. During this period, the prices of these products significantly. If take merchandise A, in the period from january to december it has soared to sixty thousand dollars. Looking at other products that have changed, then take-product C, which also soared with the price over the past year. At the beginning of the year, the cost of product C was more than ten thousand dollars, and at the end the costs it growed to five hundred thousand dollars. Speaking about the changes, you can see how much the price of the commodity B has fallen. Despite the fact that the price of the product was the highest in January, this number gradually decreased over the course of twelve months. As a result, at the end of the year, the cost of the product reached almost the lowest.
The line graph illustrated the sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
for four merchandise over the period 2009.
In general
, in January to December all figures increased,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
B directed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

During this period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
significantly
. If take merchandise A, in the period from
Possible spelling mistake found.
january
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
december
it has soared to sixty thousand dollars. Looking at other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, then take-product C, which
also
soared with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
over the past year. At the beginning of the year, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
C was more than ten thousand dollars, and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the costs it
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "grew", the past tense form of the verb 'grow'?
growed
to five hundred thousand dollars.

Speaking about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how much the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the commodity B has fallen. Despite the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
was the highest in January, this number
gradually
decreased over the course of twelve months.
As a result
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year, the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
reached almost the lowest.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the value of sales for four products during 2009

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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