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The graph shows the sales in three different kinds book, children’s books, educational books and adult fiction in a specific nation

The graph shows the sales in three different kinds book, children’s books, educational books and adult fiction in a specific nation jDJDw
Thuỳ Trang The given graph illustrates the selling of offspring’s books, adult novels and scholastic book from 2002 to 2006 in one nation. The first glance at the graph reveals that there were up-ward trends in the sales of children’s books and educational books. While the adult fiction witnessed a down-ward trend. Turning into details, grown-up fiction was the most common at nearly 45 million dollars in 2002. One year later, the sales of this kind of books decrease to lower than 40 million dollar. In 2004, it reached exactly 40 million dollars but then continued to fall to 30 million dollars at the end of the period. The second most favourite type of books was infants’ books which started with nearly 30 million dollars of sales. Then it quickly surpassed adult fiction to over 40 million dollars and maintained the rising at almost 45 million dollara three years later. In 2005, children’s book finally became the most common book when it reached a peak at approximately 60 million dollars. The least favourite one was educational books with only around 2 million dollar in 2002. Surprisingly, it went up to above 30 million dollar in 2003. However, the sales of this kind of books slowly dropped to exact the same with 2002 in 2005.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thuỳ
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trang


The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph illustrates the selling of offspring’s
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books
, adult novels and scholastic
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book
from 2002 to 2006 in one nation.

The
first
glance at the graph reveals that there were up-ward trends in the
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sales
of children’s
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books
and educational
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books
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the adult fiction witnessed a down-ward trend.

Turning into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, grown-up fiction was the most common at
nearly
45
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million
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dollars
in 2002. One year later, the
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sales
of this kind of
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books
decrease to lower than 40
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million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
. In 2004, it reached exactly 40
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million
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dollars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then continued to fall to 30
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million
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dollars
at the
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end
of the period. The second most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
type of
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books
was infants’
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books
which
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started
with
nearly
30
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
of
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sales
. Then it
quickly
surpassed adult fiction to over 40
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million
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dollars
and maintained the rising at almost 45
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dollara
three years later. In 2005, children’s
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book
finally
became the most common
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book
when it reached a peak at approximately 60
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million
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dollars
. The least
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
one was educational
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books
with
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only
around 2
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million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
in 2002.
Surprisingly
, it went up to above 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
in 2003.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
slowly
dropped to exact the same with 2002 in 2005.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the sales in three different kinds book, children’s books, educational books and adult fiction in a specific nation

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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