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The bar chart below shows the favorite leisure activities of teenager in Canada in 2000.

The bar chart below shows the favorite leisure activities of teenager in Canada in 2000. M3JRp
The bar chart depict information about favorite leisure activities of teenager in Canada in 2000. According to statistics, music is the name of activity which teenagers like the most, boys and girls were jointly occupied about 22 % Shopping was highest with 35% for boys and only 5% for daughters. There is a significant difference in the proportion of two genders in shopping. In contrast, music took the top place with about 22% for girls. The boys would rather play sports activities than play computer games and music. So the percentage of boys who were interested in sporting to the boys which are around 27% and the percentage of girls is about 10%. Computer games are a very popular phenomenon in the world. That is the reason why boys and girls prefer it. A slightly difference happened in the number of boys and girls who like playing computer games with over 15% of boy and less than 15 % of girls
The bar chart depict information about favorite leisure activities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
in Canada in 2000.

According to statistics, music is the name of activity which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
like the most,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were
jointly
occupied about 22 %

Shopping was highest with 35% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% for daughters. There is a significant difference in the proportion of two genders in shopping.
In contrast
, music took the top place with about 22% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
would
rather
play sports activities than play computer games and music.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
who
were interested
in sporting to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
which are around 27% and the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
is about 10%. Computer games are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular phenomenon in the world.
That is
the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
prefer it. A
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('difference') instead of another adjective.
slightly difference
happened in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
who like playing computer games with over 15% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy
and less than 15 % of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
girls
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the favorite leisure activities of teenager in Canada in 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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