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The graph shows the sales and expenses of a food production company

The graph shows the sales and expenses of a food production company k6OLe
The bar chart demonstrates the manufacturing of a food industry and how the sell and consume within the period of 6 months from January to Jun. Overall, sales have always been on upward trends except March and reached a highest level on June, however, expenditures was in the lowest point in January but in Jun the figure soared on the top. Turning to the chart, there was a lowest vending in January at about $70, 000, followed by a slight increase in February at around $80, 000, but the sales in March declined marginally. Nevertheless, next three months food sold significantly and leaped at about $130, 000. In addition, food manufacturing company consumed in January at approximately $10, 000, which was the lowest margin of both sides. Then February and March was in almost the same figure, while their was a gradual increase in April and May but following month, the figure of consumption jumped abruptly and stood at $80, 000.
The bar chart demonstrates the manufacturing of a food industry and how the sell and consume within the period of 6 months from January to Jun.

Overall
, sales have always been on upward trends except March and reached
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest level on June,
however
, expenditures was in the lowest point in January
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in Jun the figure soared on the top.

Turning to the chart, there was
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
lowest vending in January at about $70, 000, followed by a slight increase in February at around $80, 000,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the sales in March declined
marginally
.
Nevertheless
,
next
three months food sold
significantly
and leaped at about $130, 000.

In addition
, food manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
consumed in January at approximately $10, 000, which was the lowest margin of both sides. Then February and March was in almost the same figure, while
Did you mean "there"?
their
was a gradual increase in April and May
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
following month, the figure of consumption jumped
abruptly
and stood at $80, 000.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the sales and expenses of a food production company

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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