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the graph shows the percentage of visiting the cinema once a month or more between 1984 to 2003 (4 age group)

the graph shows the percentage of visiting the cinema once a month or more between 1984 to 2003 (4 age group) r6Dak
The graph illustrates the many of visitors in 4 age group go to the cinema once a month or more from 1984 to 2003. Overall, it is immediately evident that visiting the cinema became increasingly popular among all age groups. Furthermore, the percentage of people aged 15-to-24-year-olds increased the most while the figure for 35 and cover had a sightly increase which is the lowest percentage throughout the graph. Notably, young adults between 15-24 were the most likely to visit the cinema at least once a month had reached 56%, up 43% from 2003.
The graph illustrates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of visitors in 4 age group go to the cinema once a month or more from 1984 to 2003.

Overall
, it is immediately evident that visiting the cinema became
increasingly
popular among all age groups.
Furthermore
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 15-to-24-year-olds increased the most while the figure for 35 and cover had a
You used an adverb ('sightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
sightly increase
which is the lowest percentage throughout the graph.

Notably
, young adults between 15-24 were the most likely to visit the cinema at least once a month had reached 56%, up 43% from 2003.
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IELTS academic the graph shows the percentage of visiting the cinema once a month or more between 1984 to 2003 (4 age group)

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
94 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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