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Task 1 – line graph – the income of four cafes in New York

Task 1 – line graph – the income of four cafes in New York VYny6
The line graph compares the income of four cafes in New York and how these rates changed over the year before. Overall, the income of the Internet Express, Wi-fi Café, Café Cool fluctuated continuously and increased strongly in the last month of the year. Although the income of The Tea Room rapid decreased in the last months, but almost time in year the income of its was higher than those stores. From January to August, the income of both Internet Express and Café Cool increased and decreased unstably, meanwhile the income of Wi-fi Café speeded up from May to July before fell down in August. In the last months, the funds of three of them increased significantly, they achieved over 120. 000 dollars in December, while the Wi-fi Café had about 190. 000 dollars – the highest income in four stores. Over the same period, the income of The Tea Room was also unstably but it earned about 130. 000 dollars in August, higher than those stores. From October to the December, it decreased significantly and it only remained about 50. 000 dollars in December – the lowest income in four Café.
The line graph compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of four
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
in New York and how these rates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of the Internet Express,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wi-fi
Café, Café Cool fluctuated
continuously
and increased
strongly
in the last month of the year. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of The Tea Room rapid decreased in the last months,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
almost time in year the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of its was higher than those stores.

From January to August, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of both Internet Express and Café Cool increased and decreased
unstably
, meanwhile the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wi-fi
Café
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sped", the past tense form of the verb 'speed'?
speeded
up from May to July
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
fell down in August. In the last months, the funds of three of them increased
significantly
, they achieved over 120. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in December, while the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wi-fi
Café had about 190. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
in four stores.

Over the same period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of The Tea Room was
also
unstably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it earned about 130. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in August, higher than those stores. From October to the December, it decreased
significantly
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
remained about 50. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in December
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
in four
Possible agreement error. The noun 'Café' seems to be countable, so consider using: "cafés".
Café
.
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IELTS academic Task 1 – line graph – the income of four cafes in New York

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
192 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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