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Currently, it seems to be the norm for many people to do their work away from the office or traditional workplace, using various Internet connected devices. What will the advantages be to both employer and employee , and what problems do you foresee ?

Currently, it seems to be the norm for many people to do their work away from the office or traditional workplace, using various Internet connected devices. What will the advantages be to both employer and employee, and what problems do you foresee? qRDQE
Nowadays, using Internet connected devices is more popular and chosen by many people around the word because of its benefits for both employer and employee. Firstly, it is comfortable and convenience. We can do the work everywhere, anytime. For example, especially in the epidemic situation, lots of people can't go to the office or traditional workplace but they can still work via Internet. The employer will send some projects or plants by mass medium or email to their employee and demand they have to finish that projects. After that, the employee can resend to their boss with the similar ways. Secondly, there are many modern apps such as: word, excel and so on so it very easy for people to edit and present the project. If they want to make a statistical table, they can choose excel to make it more easily and obviously. However, there are some drawbacks that we have to notice. First of all, contacting to the Internet devices like: smartphone, laptop or ipad for too long will make our eyes tired or even nearsightedness. It's really harmful if we didn't use it sensibly. In short, using Internet connected devices is not only advantage but also disadvantage so everyone should learn how to use it in a right way.
Nowadays, using Internet connected devices is more popular and chosen by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the word
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its benefits for both employer and employee.

Firstly
, it is comfortable and convenience. We can do the work everywhere, anytime.
For example
,
especially
in the epidemic situation, lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can't go to the office or traditional workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
still
work via Internet. The employer will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
projects or plants by mass medium or email to their employee and demand they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
finish that projects. After that, the employee can resend to their boss with the similar ways.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern apps such as: word, excel and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to edit and present the project. If they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a statistical table, they can choose
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to excel"
excel
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more
easily
and
obviously
.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
notice.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, contacting to the Internet devices like: smartphone, laptop or
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipad


for too long will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our eyes tired or even nearsightedness. It's
really
harmful if we didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
sensibly
.

In short, using Internet connected devices is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
advantage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
disadvantage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone should learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
Consider replacing "in a right way" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right way
.
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IELTS academic Currently, it seems to be the norm for many people to do their work away from the office or traditional workplace, using various Internet connected devices. What will the advantages be to both employer and employee, and what problems do you foresee?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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