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the graph shows the percentage of staff trained by four different companies

the graph shows the percentage of staff trained by four different companies lXLe9
From 2003 to 2006, the line graphs show the proportion of employees taught by four distinct firms. It is clear that the proportion of staff trained by Company C was by far the highest over the three year period shown. . However, the percentage of employees who received training from Company D increased significantly, eventually outnumbering those who received instruction from Company C. In 2003, almost 28% of workers were trained by companies. While the percentage of individuals trained by Company D was the lowest, at only 20%, the staff training provided by Company C for workers was about 2% lower than that of Company B. Between 2004 and 2006, the percentage of personnel who were trained by Company D gradually increased to roughly 36%. During the same time period, the proportion of workers trained by Company A climbed somewhat, to just under 35 percent, while the proportion of workers trained by Company C increased slightly, to 36 percent. The percentage of personnel trained by Company B as a whole did not vary much. Overall, it can be shown that employee training grew for all four firms, albeit in very different ways.
From 2003 to 2006, the line graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of employees taught by four distinct firms.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
C was by far the highest over the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "three-year"
three year
period shown.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of employees who received training from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
D increased
significantly
,
eventually
outnumbering those who received instruction from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
C.

In 2003, almost 28% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
D was the lowest, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20%, the staff training provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
C for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
was about 2% lower than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
B. Between 2004 and 2006, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of personnel who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
D
gradually
increased to roughly 36%. During the same time period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
A climbed somewhat, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 35 percent, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
C increased
slightly
, to 36 percent. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of personnel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
B as a whole did not vary much.

Overall
, it can
be shown
that employee training grew for all four firms, albeit in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
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IELTS academic the graph shows the percentage of staff trained by four different companies

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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