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the graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012

the graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012 rgpJ
The given bar graph illustrates the proportion of both genders of academic staff members in faculties of a major institution in 2012. Overall, it can be clearly seen that engineering had maximum male members while, in stream of education female were at peak in the university. to begin with, 85 percent of the engineering teachers were male and only 15 % female. Three quarters of the academic staff in education were women, with just 25% males. However, other faculties were more balanced in their composition. In medicine, gender representation was almost equal, while in arts subjects slightly more than half the academics were female (55%). Its is interesting to note that business and science had the same proportion of men and women, with 65% male to 35% female academics in those faculties. Law had a slightly higher percentage of women at 40%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates the proportion of both genders of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
staff members in faculties of a major institution in 2012.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that engineering had maximum male members while, in stream of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
were at peak in the university.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, 85 percent of the engineering teachers were male and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
. Three quarters of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
staff in education were women, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
25%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
However
, other faculties were more balanced in their composition.

In medicine, gender representation was almost equal, while in arts subjects
slightly
more than half the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
(55%). Its is interesting to note that business and science had the same proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women, with 65% male to 35%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
in those faculties. Law had a
slightly
higher percentage of women at 40%.
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IELTS academic the graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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