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The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors- agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services- to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors- agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services- to the UK economy in the twentieth century. 5PrQ
The bar chart reveals how agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services contributed to the UK economy in the 20th century. Overall, it is clear that business and financial saw an increased over the period, while manufacturing witnessed a decreased. Another interesting change is that agriculture had a dramatic decline in the end of the century. Business and financial services contributed with a proportion of around 5% in 1900 then had a dramatic increase to approximately 35% in 2000. By contrast, manufacturing which accounted roughly 45% in the economy of the UK in 1900 and steadily declined to around 15% in the end of the period. Agriculture, on the other hand, made up the greatest proportion of the economy in both years 1900 and 1950 at around 50% of the total. By 1975, this had shrunk to just over 10% and continued to drop steeply, ending up at around 20% of the total contribution to the UK economy.
The bar chart reveals how agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services contributed to the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in the 20th century.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that business and financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an increased over the period, while manufacturing witnessed a decreased. Another interesting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is that agriculture had a dramatic decline in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the century.

Business and financial services contributed with a proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
5% in 1900 then had a dramatic increase to approximately 35% in 2000. By contrast, manufacturing which accounted roughly 45% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of the UK in 1900 and
steadily
declined to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
15% in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Agriculture,
on the other hand
, made up the greatest proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in both years 1900 and 1950 at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
50% of the total. By 1975, this had shrunk to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10% and continued to drop
steeply
, ending up at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
20% of the total contribution to the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors- agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services- to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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