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The graph shows the number people visited two different tourist place in city of grenby in one week

The graph shows the number people visited two different tourist place in city of grenby in one week kgbkR
The number of people to visit two different tourist attraction in city of grendy in one week have been depicted by the line graph. Overall, it can be clearly seen that, though in the initial period the cultural centre was visit highest among other places, it decreased through out the end of the period. To begin with, in initial day the history museum and amusement park were two lowest visited places at around 250 and 300 but it increased till end of period at almost 400 and 850 respectively, amusement park was highest among other places at the end of week. Furthermore, though the memorial was 500 at the starting of the week, it was fluctuated through out the period and it reached at 400. Finallly, the culture centre was highest visited in initial period at approximately 750 but it gradually decreased till the end of period at around 100.
The number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to visit two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tourist attraction in city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
grendy
in one week have
been depicted
by the line graph.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, though in the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
the cultural
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
was visit highest among other places, it decreased
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in initial day the history museum and amusement park were two lowest visited places at around 250 and 300
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it increased till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
at almost 400 and 850
respectively
, amusement park was highest among other places at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of week.

Furthermore
, though the memorial was 500 at the starting of the week, it
was fluctuated
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
and it reached at 400.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Finallly
, the culture
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
was highest visited in initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
at approximately 750
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
gradually
decreased till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
at around 100.

IELTS academic The graph shows the number people visited two different tourist place in city of grenby in one week

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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