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The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015.

The graph depicts the amount of individuals who have visited various internationally renowned museums like Louvre, Vatican, London Science and Shenzhen from the year 1980 to 2015. The units used to count the number of visitors is in millions. Overall, the popularity of Vatican museum has rapidly increased among the masses whereas, the museum in London has not been able to attract visitors recently and its numbers have fallen rapidly. Firstly, the Louvre museum has been the most popular ones, since the 1980s and it has been able to attract around 10 million visitors by the year 2015, on the other hand, the Vatican museum has gained popularity in the last three decades, as the stats show that, the number has escalated from 6 to around 9 million visitors. Subsequently, the Shenzhen museum was not able to attract visitors but the number suddenly begin to grow since the last decade and it has reached about 4 million visitors as of the year 2015, and finally, the London Science museum has been the least visited one by the individuals and its popularity has decreased to a mere 2 million visitors as of last year.
The graph depicts the amount of individuals who have visited various
internationally
renowned
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museums
like Louvre, Vatican, London Science and Shenzhen from the
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year
1980 to 2015. The units
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to count the
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number
of
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visitors
is in millions.

Overall
, the popularity of Vatican
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museum
has
rapidly
increased among the masses whereas, the
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museum
in London has not been able to attract
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visitors
recently and its
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numbers
have fallen
rapidly
.

Firstly
, the Louvre
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museum
has been the most popular ones, since the
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1980s and
it has been able to attract around 10
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
by the
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year
2015,
on the other hand
, the Vatican
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museum
has gained popularity in the last three decades, as the stats
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that, the
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number
has escalated from 6 to around 9
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million
visitors.

Subsequently
, the Shenzhen
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museum
was not able to attract
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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number
suddenly
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begin
to grow since the last
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decade and
it has reached about 4
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
as of the
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year
2015, and
finally
, the London Science
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museum
has been the least visited one by the individuals and its popularity has decreased to a mere 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
as of last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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