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number of tourists visiting a caribbean island

The line graph below provides information about the amount of visitor staying on cruise ship and on island of a Caribbean island in period between 2010 and 2017. Units are measured in millions of visitors. Overall, the major trend is steadily rose in the whole period. If be more certain, than index of visitors on cruise ship significantly increase, while amount of tourists, who staying on island not as high as previews. It is clear from line graph, total number of people tripled, from 1 to 3. 5. During the 7 years, trend steadily increases; however in 2016 index was sharply grow. The opposite situation was with number of visitor on cruise ship in 2011, and gradually declined before 0. 25. Despite of this, the trend recovers in next year. As for the second index, amount of tourists, who staying on island, increase before 2013, and stopped moving. Between 2015 and 2017 trend slightly changed, but quickly recovered.
The line graph below provides information about the amount of visitor staying on cruise ship and on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
of a Caribbean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
in period between 2010 and 2017. Units
are measured
in millions of visitors.

Overall
, the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is
steadily
rose in the whole period. If be more certain, than index of visitors on cruise ship
significantly
increase, while amount of tourists, who staying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
not as high as previews.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from line graph, total number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tripled, from 1 to 3. 5. During the 7 years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
steadily
increases;
however
in 2016 index was
sharply
grow. The opposite situation was with number of visitor on cruise ship in 2011, and
gradually
declined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
0. 25.
Did you mean “Despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
Despite of
this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
recovers in
next
year. As for the second index, amount of tourists, who staying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
, increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
2013, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
moving. Between 2015 and 2017
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
slightly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
quickly
recovered.
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IELTS academic number of tourists visiting a caribbean island

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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