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The graph shows the number of USA labor force employment, 1930-2010

The graph shows the number of USA labor force employment, 1930-2010 MB07k
The line graph illustrates the American labor force employment for five different sectors from 1930 to 2010. Overall, the Farming, Fishing, and Foresting sectors are at the peak at the beginning of 1930. However, it is declined significantly by the end of the period. Meanwhile, the Industrial sector is increased significantly starting from 1970 to 1990 before remaining steady for the rest of the years. Furthermore, the other sectors are fluctuating over the given periods. In 1930 the number of farming, fishing, and forests peaked at around 70% of the total number of labor force employment. However, at the end of 2010, those sectors have become the least. In contrast, the industrial sector starting from the very bottom can experience an increase and become the most significant influence, at around 40% of the total employment rate. Technical, sales and office, and other services are fluctuating for the given period. Technical at the end of 2010 reach around 30 %. Sales and office, and other services are become the third and fourth with around 20% and 10% respectively.
The line graph illustrates the American labor force employment for five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
from 1930 to 2010.

Overall
, the Farming, Fishing, and Foresting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are at the peak at the beginning of 1930.
However
, it
is declined
significantly
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. Meanwhile, the Industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is increased
significantly
starting from 1970 to 1990
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
remaining steady for the rest of the years.
Furthermore
, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are fluctuating over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
periods.

In 1930 the number of farming, fishing, and forests peaked at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
70% of the total number of labor force employment.
However
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2010, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
have become the least.
In contrast
, the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
starting from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
bottom can experience an increase and become the most significant influence, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
40% of the total employment rate.

Technical, sales and office, and other services are fluctuating for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. Technical at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2010 reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
30 %. Sales and office, and other services
are become
the third and fourth with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
20% and 10%
respectively
.

IELTS academic The graph shows the number of USA labor force employment, 1930-2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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