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The graph shows the number of minutes of three types of phone calls in Australia between 1992-2000.

The graph shows the number of minutes of three types of phone calls in Australia between 1992-2000. 2bdlM
The line graph illustrate the number of communication made by air medium in Australia between the 8 years of period which was 1992 to 2000. The unit was million minutes per day. overall, long distance telephone conversation remain stable from starting and at the end it was increased slightly. While the mobile communication was remain stable at the staring year and then gradually started increased till the end. The mobile communication was started in 1992 and remain steady till 1996 after then it was drastically rose in 1996 by 30 million minutes per day and remain stable till the end which was 2000. In contrast, long distance communication in Australia was around 32 million in starting, and near around 39 million minutes at the end. Moving further, it can be seen that, local call in Australia grew till 1996 around 82 million minutes per day and was fall down in 2000 at around 71 minutes per day.
The line graph illustrate the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
made by air medium in Australia between the 8 years of period which was 1992 to 2000. The unit was
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
minutes per day.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, long distance telephone conversation
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remain
stable from starting and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it
was increased
slightly
. While the mobile
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communication
was
Consider using a past participle here: "remained".
remain
stable at the staring year and then
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
increased till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

The mobile
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communication
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 1992 and
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remain
steady till 1996 after then it was
drastically
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rose
in 1996 by 30
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million
minutes per day and
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remain
stable till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
which was 2000.
In contrast
, long distance
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communication
in Australia was
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around
32
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million
in starting, and near
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around
39
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million
minutes at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Moving
further
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, local call in Australia grew till 1996
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
82
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
minutes per day and was fall down in 2000 at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
71 minutes per day.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the number of minutes of three types of phone calls in Australia between 1992-2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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