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The graph shows the consumption of 3 spreads

The graph shows the consumption of 3 spreads bEdQ3
The line graph depicts information about three different kind of spreads consumed over 26 year period between 1981 and 2007. Units are measured it grams. Over all, what stands out from the graph is that migraine and butter witnessed a considerable downward trend, while consumption of low fat and reduced spread saw a major rise over the year period in question. An interesting point is that Butter was the most popular spread at the starting point, which was later replaced by Migraine between 1991 and 2001, following that low fat and reduced spread became the most widely used spread in the final years. Looking at details, butter started around 140 grams in 1981, which meant it was consumed far more than the others and later reached a peak, rocketing to just under 160grams in 1986 before falling dramatically to approximately 40grams in the last year. If we consider margarine, the trend is similar, approximately 90grams were eaten in the first year, which was followed by a slight fluctuations and the figure eventually plummeted to 40grams at the end of the year period. In contrast, the consumption of low fat and reduced spread went in an opposite direction. It started about 10 grams in 1996 and after that rose sharply, soaring to just above 80grams in year 2001, then dropped rapidly to almost 70 grams in 2007.
The line graph depicts information about three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kind' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kinds".
kind
of
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spreads
consumed over 26
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year
period between 1981 and 2007. Units
are measured
it grams.

Over all, what stands out from the graph is that migraine and butter witnessed a considerable downward trend, while consumption of low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a major rise over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period in question. An interesting point is that Butter was the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
at the starting point, which was later replaced by Migraine between 1991 and 2001, following that low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
became the most
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
in the final years.

Looking at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, butter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
around 140
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1981, which meant it
was consumed
far more than the others and later reached a peak, rocketing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
160grams
in 1986
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling
dramatically
to approximately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40grams
in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. If we consider margarine, the trend is similar, approximately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
90grams
were eaten
in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, which
was followed
by a slight fluctuations and the figure
eventually
plummeted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40grams
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period.

In contrast
, the consumption of low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
went in an opposite direction. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
about 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1996 and after that rose
sharply
, soaring to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
80grams
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001, then dropped
rapidly
to almost 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the consumption of 3 spreads

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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