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The event table provide the data of underground railway system for six different towns.

The event table provide the data of underground railway system for six different towns. aE38V
The event table provide the data of underground railway system for six different towns. As observing data of London City there was established underground railway in the year of 1863 for the root of 394 kilometres 775 million passengers travelled for annual. In 20th century there were food different cities started underground railway system. Paris and Tokyo started system in 1900 and 1927 respectively, where one 99 kilometre route of Paris end 155 kilometre route of Tokyo runned: surprisingly, that to highest users of the system are belonging from these two cities which is 119 1000, 000 in Paris and 1927 million passengers of Tokyo per annual. Analysing the data of Washington DC in 1976 train run below the surface of the earth system open for root of 136 kilometre which is used by one 140 4000, 000 people every year. In 1981 go to city started this facility whereas Los Angeles open in 2001 with route of 28 kilometres. overall, the least route and lowest user of underground railway system come from Kyoto which was 11 kilometre route and 45, 000, 000 users every year.
The
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event
table provide the data of
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underground
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railway
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system
for six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
towns.

As observing data of London City there
was established
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underground
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railway
in the year of 1863 for the root of 394
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
775 million passengers travelled for annual. In 20th century there were food
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different
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cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
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underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. Paris and Tokyo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
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system
in 1900 and 1927
respectively
, where one 99
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometre' is British English.
kilometre
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route
of Paris
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
155
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometre' is British English.
kilometre
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route
of Tokyo
Possible spelling mistake found.
runned
:
surprisingly
, that to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
users of the
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system
The verb 'belonging' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are belonging
from these two
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cities
which is 119 1000, 000 in Paris and 1927 million passengers of Tokyo per annual.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the data of Washington DC in 1976 train run below the surface of the earth
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system
open for root of 136
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kilometre' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kilometres".
kilometre
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by one 140 4000, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
every year. In 1981 go to city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
this facility whereas Los Angeles open in 2001 with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
route
of 28
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, the least
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route
and lowest user of
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underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from Kyoto which was 11
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometre' is British English.
kilometre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
route
and 45, 000, 000 users every year.
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IELTS academic The event table provide the data of underground railway system for six different towns.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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