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Consumption of spread among three categories

Consumption of spread among three categories xgl0y
The line graph illustrates the consumption of Magarine, Low fat and reduced sugar and Butter over the years of from 1981 to 2007 in grams. Overall, it can be seen that the amount of magarine and butter decline across the period whiles low fat and reduced spread increased over the year. Although, butter had had a higher consumption at the start of the year, low fat and reduced spread outraced butter at the end of the twenty – six year period. In 1996, the consumption of low fat and reduced spread stood at about 10 grams which was the lowest among the spread. However, this figure increased dramatically, peaking at 80 grams in 2001. Following this, at the end of the year the number hit a low of almost 70 grams At the beginning of the year, magarine and butter accounted for about 140 and 90 grams respectively. Butter increased steadily and fell across the end of the year. Moreover, magarine shows in the number of grams and decline to 40 grams in 2007
The line graph illustrates the consumption of
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Magarine
,
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Low
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fat
and
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reduced
sugar and
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Butter
over the years of from 1981 to 2007 in
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grams
.
Overall
, it can be
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seen
that the amount of
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magarine
and
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butter
decline across the period whiles
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low
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fat
and
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reduced
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spread
increased over the
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year
. Although,
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butter
had had a higher consumption at the
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start
of the
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year
,
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low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
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reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
outraced
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butter
at the
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end
of the
A dash was used instead of a hyphen. Did you mean: "twenty-six".
twenty – six
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year
period.

In 1996, the consumption of
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low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
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reduced
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spread
stood at about 10
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grams
which was the lowest among the
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spread
.
However
, this figure increased
dramatically
, peaking at 80
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grams
in 2001. Following this, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
the number hit a
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low
of almost 70 grams

At the beginning of the
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year
,
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magarine
and
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butter
accounted for about 140 and 90
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grams
respectively
.
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Butter
increased
steadily
and fell across the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Moreover
,
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magarine
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shows
in the number of
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grams
and decline to 40
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grams
in 2007
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IELTS academic Consumption of spread among three categories

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
173 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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