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The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications.

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. wBxBE
The provided chart demonstrates the date about the amount of weekly wage of three different types of graduates, namely higher degree, first degree and other qualifications among verity of age groups in 2002. Overall, it is clear that all graduating degrees show upward trends according to their ages from 21 to 60 with the exception of people who have other qualifications shows the downward trend between 36-46 ages. At 21 age, people with the other types of qualifications remained higher salary with more than 400 pounds comparing with higher and first degrees with around 370 and 350 pounds respectively. Other qualifiers and first degree graduaters reached the peak at the age of between 36-40 with more than 800 pounds and nearly 700 pounds income respectively. Higher degree graduaters went up to the top later at the age from 41 to 45. Although, other qualifications increased significantly to the peak, the wage per week sharply decreased at 56-60 age group just below 700 pounds. Strikingly, other qualifications and higher degree earned the same amount of money at 45-50 and 51-55 age groups with a bit more than 700 pounds and higher and first degrees also demonstrated the same trends at 56-60 ages with less than 700 pounds.
The provided chart demonstrates the date about the amount of weekly wage of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of graduates,
namely
higher
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degree
,
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first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
among verity of
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age
groups in 2002.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that all graduating
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degrees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
upward trends according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
from 21 to 60
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
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people
who have
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the downward trend between 36-46 ages.

At 21
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age
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
remained higher salary with more than
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400 pounds
comparing with higher and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
with around 370 and
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350 pounds
respectively
.
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Other
qualifiers and
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first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
Possible spelling mistake found.
graduaters
reached the peak at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of between 36-40 with more than
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
800 pounds
and
nearly
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700 pounds
income
respectively
. Higher
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degree
Possible spelling mistake found.
graduaters
went up to the top later at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
from 41 to 45.

Although,
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
increased
significantly
to the peak, the wage per week
sharply
decreased at 56-60
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age
group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
700 pounds
.
Strikingly
,
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
earned the same amount of money at 45-50 and 51-55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups with a bit more than
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
700 pounds
and higher and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
also
demonstrated the same trends at 56-60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
with less than
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
700 pounds
.

IELTS academic The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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