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The graph presents the contributions as a percentage of GDP in India between 1960 and 2000

The graph presents the contributions as a percentage of GDP in India between 1960 and 2000 R51BP
Overall, there was a sharp change in all the figures. Over 40 years the data of agriculture and services had a steep conversion. At the beginning of the period, agriculture was a high value and then also hit the lowest point in 2000. Meanwhile, the industry rate is the opposite. Move to the chart in more detail, the figure for agriculture declined significantly from over 60% in 1960 to about 14% in the last stage. Moreover, the proportion of industry just has a slightly changing. From approximately 15% in 1960 to more than 26% in 1980, then it goes to remain stable in 20 years later. At the same time, the percentage of services with the major trend to go up with enormously. It increases about 55% to 60% in 40 years later. The graph presents the contributions as a percentage of GDP in India between 1960 and 2000.
Overall
, there was a sharp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in all the figures. Over 40 years the data of agriculture and services had a steep conversion. At the beginning of the period, agriculture was a high value and then
also
hit the lowest point in 2000. Meanwhile, the industry rate is the opposite.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Move
to the chart in more detail, the figure for agriculture declined
significantly
from over 60% in 1960 to about 14% in the last stage.
Moreover
, the proportion of industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
has a
slightly
changing. From approximately 15% in 1960 to more than 26% in 1980, then it goes to remain stable in 20 years later.

At the same time, the percentage of services with the major trend to go up with
enormously
. It increases about 55% to 60% in 40 years later. The graph presents the contributions as a percentage of GDP in India between 1960 and 2000.
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IELTS academic The graph presents the contributions as a percentage of GDP in India between 1960 and 2000

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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