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The graph illustrates the share of household spending on different goods and services in two different countries, Japan and Malaysia, in 2010.

The graph illustrates the share of household spending on different goods and services in two different countries, Japan and Malaysia, in 2010. QRdR1
The graph illustrates the share of household spending on different goods and services in two different countries, Japan and Malaysia, in 2010. Overall, it is clear that the heads of households in both countries spent most of their income on Housing and Food, while Health Care received the lowest. The share of spending on housing is the highest in Malaysia at more than a third, while Japanese families allocate only a fifth of the larger budget to this category. Whereas other goods and services in Japan are the largest goods and account for less than a third of household spending, the same category accounted for more than a quarter of household expenditures in Malaysia in 2000. In terms of food, the figures for both countries are similar, at 24% and 27% for Malaysia and Japan, respectively. In terms of remaining categories, Transportation accounts for a fifth of total spending in Japan, twice as much as Malaysia. Finally Healthcare services receive the least amount of money in the two countries with only 6% in Japan and in Maylaysya is 3%
The graph illustrates the share of
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household
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spending
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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countries
,
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Japan
and Malaysia, in 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the heads of
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households
in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
spent most of their income on Housing and Food, while Health Care received the lowest.

The share of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on housing is the highest in Malaysia at more than a third, while Japanese families allocate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a fifth of the larger budget to this category. Whereas other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
are the largest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and account for less than a third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
, the same category accounted for more than a quarter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
expenditures in Malaysia in 2000. In terms of food, the figures for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are similar, at 24% and 27% for Malaysia and
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Japan
,
respectively
.

In terms of remaining categories, Transportation accounts for a fifth of total
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spending
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, twice as much as Malaysia.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
Healthcare services receive the least amount of money in the two
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countries
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
6% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maylaysya
is 3%
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IELTS academic The graph illustrates the share of household spending on different goods and services in two different countries, Japan and Malaysia, in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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