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The graph illustrate the average yearly expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 to 2010.

The graph illustrate the average yearly expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 to 2010. 71q3
The graph illustrate the average yearly expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 to 2010. Substantially, over the 10 year the annual expenditures of cell phone services has been increasing while the annual expenditures of residential phone services has been decreasing. The expenses for both cell phone and residential phone servises have been same in year 2008. From the graph, we can utilize that in year 2001, average annual expenditures on residential phone services was around $700 while for cell phone it was around $200. Nevertheless, over the 10 year period, the average annual expenditures for cell phone services raised drastically while it droped for residential phone services. The yearly mean expenditures for both where same in year 2008 which was between $500 to $600. In year 2010, the average annual expenditures on cell phone services grew to almost $800 while it decreased on residential phone services to little more then $400.
The graph
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
yearly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2001 and 2010".
between 2001 to 2010
.

Substantially
, over the 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
has been increasing while the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
has been decreasing. The expenses for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
Possible spelling mistake found.
servises
have been same in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008.

From the graph, we can utilize that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
was around $700 while for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
it was around $200.
Nevertheless
, over the 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
raised
drastically
while it
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "dropped", the past tense form of the verb 'drop'?
droped
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. The yearly mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
for both where same in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008 which was between $500 to $600. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
grew to almost $800 while it decreased on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
$400.

IELTS academic The graph illustrate the average yearly expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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