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the bar chart below the percentage of students who passed thier high school competency exams, by subject and gender during the period 2010-2011

the bar chart below the percentage of students who passed thier high school competency exams, by subject and gender during the period 2010-2011 GQK2
The bar graph represent the ratio of learner who passed their senior secondary academy competency exams, by subjects and gender during the period 2010-2011overview, it can be observed that most of learner passing computer science in female as compare to others. Turning on the details, most of student passed computer science by girls during period 2010 to 2011 that was 56. 3% while, the less learner passed chemistry and geography by girls and boys during period 2010-2011 that was 30. 2% and 30. 4% respectively. Shifting towards, 1. 4% difference seen in foreign language passed by male and female during period 2010-2011 that was 46. 8% and 47. 4% whilst, the rest of learner passed in history and mathematics by boys during period 2010 to 2011 that was 2. 9% and 48. 4% respectively.
The bar graph represent the ratio of
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learner
who
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passed
their senior secondary academy competency exams, by subjects and gender during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
2010-2011overview, it can
be observed
that most of
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learner
passing computer science in female as compare to others. Turning on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
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most of student
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passed
computer science by girls during
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period
2010 to 2011 that was 56. 3% while, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
chemistry and geography by girls and boys during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
2010-2011 that was 30. 2% and 30. 4%
respectively
. Shifting towards, 1. 4% difference
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in foreign language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
by male and female during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
2010-2011 that was 46. 8% and 47. 4% whilst, the rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
in history and mathematics by boys during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
2010 to 2011 that was 2. 9% and 48. 4%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the bar chart below the percentage of students who passed thier high school competency exams, by subject and gender during the period 2010-2011

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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