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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. 71b6
The line graph depicts the increment in percentage of senior citizen in three different countries (USA, Japan, Sweden) from the year 1940 to 2040. Overall, it indicates that the percentage of ageing people will rise to almost 25% by 2040 in the respective countries. In 1940, the proportion of elderly population in Japan, Sweden and USA were 5%, around 7% and almost 10% respectively. However, the senior population of Japan decreased by around 2. 5% whereas the proportion in Sweden and USA was moderatly rosed about 14% and 15% respectively. By the year 2000, the percentage of ageing people in Japan rose again to 5% which was similiar to the percentage in 1940. Meanwhile, the USA observed slight decreament of 1% But Sweden gained the proportion of people aged 65 or more to 5% i. e. 20% in 2000
The line graph depicts the increment in
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percentage
of senior citizen in three
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different
countries (USA,
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Japan
, Sweden) from the year 1940 to 2040.

Overall
, it indicates that the
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percentage
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will rise to almost 25% by 2040 in the respective countries.

In 1940, the proportion of elderly population in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, Sweden and USA were 5%, around 7% and almost 10%
respectively
.
However
, the senior population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
decreased by around 2. 5% whereas the proportion in Sweden and USA was
Possible spelling mistake found.
moderatly
Possible spelling mistake found.
rosed
about 14% and 15%
respectively
.

By the year 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
rose again to 5% which was
Possible spelling mistake found.
similiar
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in 1940. Meanwhile, the USA observed slight
Possible spelling mistake found.
decreament
of 1%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Sweden gained the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 65 or more to 5%
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
20% in 2000
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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