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The graph gives information about three things that school leavers did over a five-year period.

The graph gives information about three things that school leavers did over a five-year period. x8G8w
The graph gives information about three things that school leavers did over a five-year period. Overall, the most noticeable changes involved the number of school leavers looking for work and those taking a break from education. This shows that more young people planned to enter higher education, even though they decided to wait a while before doing so. At the beginning of the five- year period, about half of the school leavers surveyed looked for work. Of the remaining 500, 300 went to university and 200 took a temporary break from their education. By the end of the five years, however, the figures for those seeking employment and for those taking a break from their education had seen significant changes. The former had fallen by just over a hundred, while the latter had risen by the same amount. Meanwhile the number of school leavers going to university was the same as it had been at the beginning of the period. Overall, the difference between the three groups had become less marked. A more detailed look at the graph reveals that the number of leavers going to university and the number of leavers looking for work fluctuated. Between 2008 and 2010, the former increased while the latter decreased. Then in 2011 and 2012, the number of those going to university fell, while after stagnating briefly in 2011, the number of those looking for employment rose. The number of school leavers taking a break from their education continuous and steady
The graph gives information about three things that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
did over a five-year period.

Overall
, the most noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
involved the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
looking for work and those taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
planned to enter higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
even though
they decided to
Did you mean "wait awhile"?
wait a while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

At the beginning of the five- year period, about half of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
surveyed looked for work. Of the remaining 500, 300 went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and 200 took a temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the five years,
however
, the figures for those seeking employment and for those taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. The former had fallen by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a hundred, while the latter had risen by the same amount.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
was the same as it had been at the beginning of the period.
Overall
, the difference between the three groups had become less marked.

A more detailed look at the graph reveals that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of leavers going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of leavers looking for work fluctuated. Between 2008 and 2010, the former increased while the latter decreased. Then in 2011 and 2012, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of those going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fell, while after stagnating
briefly
in 2011, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of those looking for employment rose. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
continuous and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
steady
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IELTS academic The graph gives information about three things that school leavers did over a five-year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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