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The graph gives information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010.

The graph gives information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010. 6xO08
The line graph shows male and female gym membership over a thirty-year period. The vertical axis represents the number of members in units of 1, 000. The horizontal axis represents the period from 1980 to 2010. Overall, the graph indicates that there were greater fluctuations in gym membership among men than among women. The number of male members started the period at just over two thousand and reached highs of four thousand in 1985 and five thousand around 2005. The lowest rates were between 1993 and 1997 and more recently in 2010 when the rate dipped as low as one thousand. Female gym membership began lower at one thousand, doubled by 1984, and then fluctuated between two and three thousand for the remainder of the period. When male rates were at their lowest, female rates were higher. This was particularly true between 1993 and 1997 when over three thousand women held gym membership. In brief, there were marked differences in rates of male and female gym memberships in the period covered.
The line graph
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shows
male and female
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gym
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membership
over a thirty-year
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period
. The vertical axis represents the number of members in units of 1, 000.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
horizontal axis represents the
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period
from 1980 to 2010.

Overall
, the graph indicates that there were greater fluctuations in
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gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
than among women. The number of male members
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started
the
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period
at
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just
over two thousand and reached highs of four thousand in 1985 and five thousand around 2005. The lowest
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rates
were between 1993 and 1997 and more recently in 2010 when the
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rate
dipped as low as one thousand.

Female
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gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
began lower at one thousand, doubled by 1984, and then fluctuated between two and three thousand for the remainder of the
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period
. When male
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rates
were at their lowest, female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
were higher. This was
particularly
true between 1993 and 1997 when over three thousand women held
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gym
membership.

In brief
, there
were marked
differences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of male and female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
in the
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period
covered.
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IELTS academic The graph gives information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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