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The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age. ymnV
The bar chart shows information about people’s drinking behavior by age group in the US. Several trends are evident. The highest proportion of those who never drink (nearly two-thirds) was in the 16 to 24 years group. The proportion tended to decrease with age. Only 40 per cent of people aged 65 to 74 had never drink. On the other hand, the percentage of those who had quit drinking tended to increase with age. Only 5 per cent of those in the youngest age group (16 to 24) were ex-drinkers, as opposed to roughly 40 per cent of those aged 65 to 75. The percentage of those classed as heavy drinkers also showed a distinct pattern. People in middle age (35 to 54) tended to be the heaviest drinkers – approximately 13 per cent of the total. A relatively small proportion of those in the youngest age group, and an even smaller percentage of those in the oldest group (roughly 3 per cent) drink heavily. Overall, age appears to be a significant factor in patterns of drinking behavior.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
information about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s drinking behavior by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
in the US. Several trends are evident. The highest proportion of those who never drink (
nearly
two-thirds) was in the 16 to 24 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. The proportion tended to decrease with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
40 per cent of
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people
aged 65 to 74 had never
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "drank", "drunk".
drink
.

On the other hand
, the percentage of those who had quit drinking tended to increase with
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age
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
5 per cent of those in the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
(16 to 24) were ex-drinkers, as opposed to roughly 40 per cent of those aged 65 to 75.

The percentage of those classed as heavy drinkers
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a distinct pattern.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in middle
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age
(35 to 54) tended to be the heaviest drinkers
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
approximately 13 per cent of the total. A
relatively
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small
proportion of those in the youngest
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age
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group
, and an even smaller percentage of those in the oldest
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group
(roughly 3 per cent) drink
heavily
.

Overall
,
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age
appears to be a significant factor in patterns of drinking behavior.
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IELTS academic The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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