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Nowadays people have to work for longer hours under stressful conditions

Nowadays people have to work for longer hours under stressful conditions 7m2A
The two pie charts show the proportion of boys and girls in extracurricular activities in different broad categories. In general, a grater percentage of girls participate in dancing than participating in surfing the internet and the reverse is true for boys. In surfing the internet, while a greater percentage of girls than boys are founded which is about twice as computer games. The percentage of girls participated in computer games are slightly larger than percentage of boys in this activity. In reading books and magazine, the biggest differentiate between the two sexes in the leisure time activities, where female make up 19% and female just 3%. Furthermore, the percentage of girls participate as gym and aerobics and percentage of boys participate as reading and magazines are very small only 6% and 3% respectively. Both of girls and boys equally prefer for listening to music account for 8%. In the conclusion, the two charts clearly show that girls do not have the same preference as boys to certain type of leisure time activities.
The two pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in extracurricular activities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
broad categories.
In general
, a grater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
participate in dancing than participating in surfing the internet and the reverse is true for boys.

In surfing the internet, while a greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are founded
which is about twice as computer games. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
participated in computer games are
slightly
larger than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in this activity.

In reading books and magazine, the biggest differentiate between the two sexes in the leisure time activities, where female
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up 19% and female
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
3%.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
participate as gym and aerobics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
participate as reading and magazines are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
6% and 3%
respectively
. Both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
equally
prefer for listening to music account for 8%.

In the conclusion, the two charts
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
do not have the same preference as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
to certain type of leisure time activities.
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IELTS academic Nowadays people have to work for longer hours under stressful conditions

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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