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The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Ypqd
The line graph shows the information about how much percentage changes in the births and deaths in new Zealand from 1901 to 2101. Overall, the births rates experience rapid changes in the past, while the deaths rates gradual increases. In the 1901 births rate is 20%. After that the population of the newly born sharply growth and peaked 65% approximately in the 1961. Then after quickly drop sharply under the 50% in the 1981. From then on the birth rate picked up again and has reached 60% and After that again droped down still 2101. By contrast, the death rate has been increased continued still 2041. In 2101 after that declined around 55%.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the information about how much percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
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births
and deaths in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new Zealand
from 1901 to 2101.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
experience rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the past, while the deaths
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rates
gradual increases.

In the 1901
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is 20%. After that the population of the
newly
born
sharply
growth and peaked 65% approximately in the 1961. Then after
quickly
drop
sharply
under the 50% in the 1981. From then on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
picked up again and has reached 60% and After that again
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "dropped", the past tense form of the verb 'drop'?
droped
down
still
2101.

By contrast, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has
been increased
continued
still
2041. In 2101 after that declined around 55%.
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IELTS academic The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
113 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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