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The chart below show the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999

The chart below show the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999 P0Pd
The horizontal bar chart illustrates how post-school qualifications at different levels were in Australia according to the sexes in 1999. It is evident from the chart that considerably more females than males acquired many qualifications. The proportion of woman holding skilled vocational diploma was roughly 90%, 80% higher than men. However, the rate among females who had undergraduate diploma was 35%, twofold lower than those for males. Woman who held bachelor’s degree constituted nearly 50% compared with the figure for men when more than 50% of them held it. Of those Australian people who had after-school qualifications, some 30% females held postgraduate diploma so 70% males did. The percentage of males holding master’s degree was one-fifth higher than females constituting 40%.
The horizontal bar chart illustrates how post-school qualifications at
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different
levels were in Australia according to the sexes in 1999.

It is evident from the chart that
considerably
more
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females
than
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males
acquired
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many
qualifications.

The proportion of woman holding skilled vocational diploma was roughly 90%, 80% higher than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
However
, the rate among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
who had undergraduate diploma was 35%, twofold lower than those for
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males
. Woman who held bachelor’s degree constituted
nearly
50% compared with the figure for
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men
when more than 50% of them held it.

Of those Australian
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people
who had after-school qualifications,
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some
30%
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females
held postgraduate diploma
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so
70%
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males
did. The percentage of
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males
holding master’s degree was one-fifth higher than
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females
constituting 40%.
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IELTS academic The chart below show the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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