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The diagram shows the small-scale production of smoked fish

The diagram shows the small-scale production of smoked fish YBGMN
The flow-chart illustrates the different stages in the small-scale process of smoking fish. Overall, it is clear that the process has 8 stages, beginning with the preparation of the fish and ending with the delivery of the finished product. First, the fish are cleaned with a knife and prepared ready for the production process, before being placed in a container of salt water for 30 minutes. Next, they are cooked for 5 minutes in hot salted water, and the fish are then removed. The process of smoking is now ready to start. In a vat, the fish are hung by wires on top of some material which burns and produces smoke. The vat is covered with wood, so that the smoke cannot escape. After 30 minutes, the fish are smoked and ready for the next stage, which is the addition of yellow colouring. The smoked fish are then packed in closed containers and, finally, transported in trucks to where they will be sold.
The flow-chart illustrates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of smoking fish.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
has 8 stages, beginning with the preparation of the fish and ending with the delivery of the finished product.

First
, the fish
are cleaned
with a knife and prepared ready for the production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being placed
in a container of salt water for 30 minutes.
Next
, they
are cooked
for 5 minutes in hot salted water, and the fish are then removed.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of smoking is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
. In a vat, the fish
are hung
by wires on top of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
material which burns and produces smoke. The vat
is covered
with wood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the smoke cannot escape. After 30 minutes, the fish
are smoked
and ready for the
next
stage, which is the addition of yellow
Possible spelling mistake found.
colouring
. The smoked fish are then packed in closed containers and,
finally
, transported in trucks to where they will
be sold
.

IELTS academic The diagram shows the small-scale production of smoked fish

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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