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The graph give information about the informationof gents and ladies statics of smoking in someland between the 1960 and 2000

The graph give information about the informationof gents and ladies statics of smoking in someland between the 1960 and 2000 wMqwr
The rendered line graph Illustrates the comparison of gents and ladies statistics of smoking in someland in between the 1960 and 2000. The data is calibrated in thousands. That number of men inhaling cigarettes were higher as compared to women. However, in the ending of time period the number of men consuming smoke showed a declivity trend and women represented an aclivity trend as compared to before. Having an eagle eye on chart, it is crystal clear that in the year 1960, about 600 gents inhaled smoke which was quite higher than ladies. whilist, till the 1975 the number of men taken smoulding showed a slight decline. On the contrary during 1965 and 1970 women rate of consumption of smoke remain plateaued. After that it represented an increasing trend. Srutinizing further, in 1975 approximately 500 men intake smoke which was 200 more than the other sex. strikingly, from 1980 to 2000 both the gender explained a decreasing trend in their preference of consumption of smould.
The rendered line graph Illustrates the comparison of gents and ladies statistics of smoking in
Possible spelling mistake found.
someland
in between the 1960 and 2000. The data
is calibrated
in thousands. That number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
inhaling cigarettes were higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to women.
However
, in the ending of time period the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a declivity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and women represented an
Possible spelling mistake found.
aclivity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Having an eagle eye on chart, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in the year 1960, about 600 gents inhaled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
which was quite higher than ladies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whilist
, till the 1975 the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
taken
Possible spelling mistake found.
smoulding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a slight decline.
On the contrary
during 1965 and 1970 women rate of consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
remain plateaued.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that it represented an increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Srutinizing
further
, in 1975 approximately 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
intake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
which was 200 more than the other sex.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
strikingly
, from 1980 to 2000 both the gender
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
a decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in their preference of consumption of
Possible spelling mistake found.
smould
.
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IELTS academic The graph give information about the informationof gents and ladies statics of smoking in someland between the 1960 and 2000

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
165 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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